Map of the Americas

Map of the Americas
We are using this map to find our way home. We will be marking where we are in big fat red marker like Indiana Jones. (map idea courtesy of Blake Golden)

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Latinas, Latinas, Latinas!

So, I would be lying if I said I hadn’t flirted, danced, and kissed Latinas while I’ve been down here. For those that know me, yall probably think that every time I’ve talked to a Latina I’ve probably flirted with her. That may or may not be true, but that aside, I had my first “date” this past Sunday, and a few funny things happened, enough funny things to blog about it at least.

First she tells me that we should go to “el jardin”. I’m like, sure, sounds good to me. It sounds good to me because el jardin translates to “the garden”. I have no idea what the el jardin is, but it’s gotta be a bit romantic right? After all it’s called the garden. So I catch a bus there, knowing what street it’s on. I was actually a bit surprised because on the front of the bus it also said “el jardin.” So I ask someone on the bus if they know where “el jardin” is located, and if they could tell me when we arrive there so I could hop off the bus. He agrees, and five minutes later points to the garden. I look out the window and see a supermall as big as any in Birmingham!!!

So I meet her at the entrance, and we stroll all through the garden (mall) just like we were in eighth grade. I wish I had told the bus driver, “Thanks mom, could you pick me up in three hours a couple hundred yards down the street?” Sure enough we pass by a Sunglasses Hut and an Abercrombie and Fitch. If only I had fully endorsed this and went and tried on sunglasses. Fortunately we saw a Baskin Robbins, which was awesome since they are fading out rapidly in America. I got a mint chocolate chip cone just like when I was eight years old. It was delicious. What was weird about the Baskin Robbins? She paid without me knowing.

So now we’ve trolled through a mall, and she’s paid for our ice cream.

I decide that we should go to the park across the street. She agrees quickly, so I imagine she doesn’t want to troll the mall either. We get there and there is this magician doing a show for a bunch of kids and parents. There’s probably a hundred people all laughing when we approach. As soon as I show up the magician stops his show and gets a free joke out of me. He says, “Hablas Spanish?” That’s the equivalent of saying, “Do you speak Espanol?” I say of course and so then in Spanish in front of everyone he asks me where I’m from. I say the United States, and he then grabs his hat walks over to me and then says, well then I’m charging you three dollars for admission. Everyone laughed including me. It was in good humor. (I didn’t pay.)

So now I’ve trolled the mall, had a girl pay for my ice cream, and had over a hundred people laugh at me.

After we watch for several minutes, she decides that we should go sit down in the shade under a tree. Sounds good to me, I mean hell some people pay six dollars an hour for conversational Spanish. I’ll get get a good couple hours of conversational Spanish for free, and she’ll throw in free Baskin Robbins. Anyway, we sit down for about ten seconds when a soccer ball drills her in the side. I’m talking Valderrama from the nineties might not have been able to kick a ball this hard. I realize quickly that no one is sitting in this shade because it is directly behind the make shift goal that these six guys had setup to play soccer.

So now I have trolled through a mall, had a girl pay for my ice cream, been laughed at by 100+ people, and now have a date on the verge of tears from pain.

Don’t get me wrong, she must have been thinking “Now I’ve had to walk through a mall with this guy, buy his ice cream, had a hundred people laugh at us, and now I get hit by a soccer ball!”

Well she must not have been too discouraged by everything because she wants to go snuggle up under a different tree. I obviously don’t discourage the idea, but do find it odd because within probably a thirty-meter radius, there are probably ten or twelve couples snuggling under ten or twelve different trees. This park was huge. On one sign I saw a water area, a bmx bike area, a basketball area, a soccer area, but funny that I didn’t notice the “public display of affection” area. I guess it doesn’t translate.

Anyway, after a couple of hours she has to go back to where she’s from. (She’s catching a bus to Guayquil later that afternoon.) So we wait for her bus to take her to her other bus. When we see it in the distance she looks me in the eyes and says, “Estas bien conmigo?” Literally translates to “Are you fine with me?” I mean in the land of ambiguous questions, this has to be the Reina!!! You know? I mean what the hell? She’s about to hop on her bus, I don’t have time for her to explain what that means, so I say Si. What else can I say? I mean I’m caught between an espada (sword) and a pared (wall). If you think about it, this question could mean anything.

So in the end, I trolled a mall, had a girl buy me my ice cream, got laughed at by 100+ people, and could possibly be “dating” this girl that I’ll probably only see one more time in my life without knowing it.

With all that said, it was a great time, and she’s a good girl.

A couple of things for those still reading. I’m not going to add blog points. I have a few saved up, but I’ll just add them next time. I want to start writing more so you’ll have them in a few days.

Lastly, I need to shout out to a couple of blogs. First, my friend Rob McDonald’s blog. I’m not sure how I didn’t post the link to his blog on my website yet. He was a big inspiration why I’m blogging. Check out his sight, it’s on the right side. Second, to Jason Wilson. His blog is much more well written than mine, and I’m sure he’s going to have a heyday after he reads this. Lastly, my cousin Merrill is blogging. Check it out at He lives with me in Ecuador obviously. (How typical, the only two Alabamians in Ecuador, and they are cousins living together, right?)

Oh I’ve also posted more pics. So go to the link above and to the right to see them. They are actually beautiful!!!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Stewart (and Merrill) just love your blogs.. spot on. Great little observations. Incidentally I went to get my hair cut in Quito yesterday, 3rd time in South America... and similarly successful... explained I´m growing my hair and only want the ends trimming. 15 minutes later... hair a good 3 inches shorter I leave. Interestingly, they dried and styled the front of my hair, but left the back sopping wet. Cultural differences eh.